Are You a Blamer

72 - Are You a Blamer

0:00

Ponder this. Are you a blamer? When something unforeseen happens that isn’t good, do you immediately look for someone to blame? A favorite phrase of a blamer usually starts with, “Why didn’t you…” and you can fill in the rest.

This happens frequently in married life:

“Why didn’t you pick up my laundry?”

“Why did you leave the gas tank empty?”

“Why didn’t you do the dishes?”

These are all questions a blaming spouse might ask. There are plenty of opportunities in a day to blame someone who has inconvenienced us, but placing blame does not fix the problem, nor does it strengthen personal relationships. Rather, it puts people on the defensive, often causing more conflict.

Next time you find yourself blaming another for being inconvenienced, try offering a helping hand instead. Fill up the empty gas tank, pick up the laundry from the dry cleaners, and wash the dirty dishes. These may be better alternatives than blaming.

By helping instead of blaming, we show compassion for others, even when they don't necessarily deserve it, and we don’t add fuel to a situation that is already tense. Helping is always better than blaming.